Technology has created many opportunities for students to be hurtful to each other in a variety of ways, and has made interpersonal peer conflict even more challenging for schools to deal with. This is complicated by the reality that youth have always been hesitant to confide in adults when faced with problems with peers. In addition, the ever-changing apps, platforms, or games involved may overwhelm even the most well-meaning of adults. But it is also important to remember that cyberbullying is less a technological issue than a relationship issue, and school counselors have a lot to offer to help. Even if they don’t know much about the latest app or online platform. Below I discuss important considerations and strategies for school counselors when responding to cyberbullying.
Support and Protect Students
The safety and well-being of students should always be the foremost priority. Ask yourself how you can help students feel supported, heard, and encouraged. It is essential to convey support because students who have been targeted are likely in a very vulnerable state. Demonstrate through words and actions that you both desire the same end result: stopping the cyberbullying and ensuring it doesn’t happen again. This can be accomplished by working together to arrive at a mutually agreed-upon course of action. It is important to not be dismissive of their experience, but instead to validate their voice and perspective. This can help in the healing and recovery process.
Demonstrate through words and actions that you both desire the same end result: stopping the cyberbullying and ensuring it doesn’t happen again.
Targets of cyberbullying must know with certainty that the adults in whom they confide will intervene rationally and logically, and not make the situation worse. This is their biggest fear. Why? Because that’s what often happens. In our 2023 study of over 5,000 middle and high school students from around the US, many conveyed this sentiment. When asked why they don’t report cyberbullying, students said: “Whenever anyone tells about this stuff nothing happens and the bullying just gets worse.” “I was afraid to tell because I thought it would get worse.” “No one does anything and everyone would know I told so it could make it worse.” Reassure your students that you are on their side and will partner with them to try to make things better.
Gather Information
Collect as much information as you can about what happened and who was involved. In many cases the student being targeted will know (or at least will think they know) who is doing the cyberbullying, even if it is in an anonymous online environment or involving an unfamiliar screenname. Meet with the target in a private setting where they will not be seen so as to be viewed as a snitch. Assemble any evidence they might have, including screenshots, screen recordings, account names, or message comments. Encourage them to continue to gather any additional documentation of further harassment.
Empower Students
Empower students to address the cyberbullying themselves by giving them tools to respond in the moment. Make sure they know how to report bullying and how to block users on the apps they are using. Bullying violates the Terms of Service of all reputable online platforms, and those who engage in such behaviors should be held accountable. Encourage students to document what is happening by saving text messages or screen grabbing abusive content. This evidence will help adults better understand what happened so they can respond appropriately. It also helps skeptical parents to understand the seriousness of the situation if they can see exactly what their child was saying online. Remind those who are targeted not to retaliate, as tempting as it might be, because the other student(s) involved might similarly report them for bullying and then they will get in trouble. I’ve seen it happen all-too-often: students who have endured mistreatment for weeks or months finally snap and do or say something inappropriate. They then become the ones who are disciplined, instead of the original instigator.
Refer to Your School Bullying Policy
Often online mistreatment is connected to something going on at school. If so, your school’s bullying policy should be consulted. Be sure to follow the procedures outlined. If you haven’t recently reviewed your school’s bullying policy, now might be a good time to take a look at it to ensure you understand your role and responsibilities. Touch base with your counselor colleagues at other area schools to see what their bullying prevention policies and programs look like and discuss ways to improve upon them. Your state School Counselor Association might also have helpful resources.
Identify Contributing Factors
When made aware of bullying occurring among students at your school (whether online or off), ask yourself why it is happening and determine what must be done to stop it. This analysis should be applied at both the individual student level (why is this particular student being bullied) and at the school level (why is bullying happening here). With respect to specific students, work with them to identify any potential underlying causes. Why do they think they are being targeted? If it is something that can be changed (for example, social or communication skills), then work with them to develop these skills. If not (bullying someone because of their appearance), then teach them deflecting skills and resilience. Maybe a student needs to avoid certain areas of the school or be switched into a different classroom (if possible). Maybe they need to stop visiting a particular chat channel or playing a multiplayer game where they are constantly exposed to someone intent on mistreating them.
Remember: most of the time students who are cyberbullied just want the bullying to stop.
Improve the Climate at your School
If you are starting to notice more bullying and cyberbullying at your school (regular surveys would help determine this more systematically), then you need to take action. Try to develop more shared school spirit. Have pep rallies. recognize academic and athletic accomplishments. Get to know your students well so that they do not feel alone or lost (especially in a large school). Encourage students to look out for one another by creating an anonymous reporting system. Establish a social norm of care and compassion. Bullying may be an issue at other schools, but commit to a goal where it does not exist in yours. Address the seemingly small forms of mistreatment (hurtful comments, exclusion) so it doesn’t escalate into something much worse.
Develop Relationships
As discussed above, students are reluctant to talk to adults about their experiences online, especially ones that are negative. The best thing a school counselor can do is create the kind of relationship with students where they feel comfortable coming forward. And remember, most of the time students who are cyberbullied just want the bullying to stop. Sometimes that might require formal discipline of the aggressor, but not always. Think creatively about what needs to happen in this particular situation, involving these particular students, to get the behavior to stop. If you are able to accomplish this, then students will run to you with their problems, for better and worse.
Suggested citation: Patchin, J. W. (2024). Responding to Cyberbullying: Strategies for School Counselors. Cyberbullying Research Center. https://cyberbullying.org/responding-to-cyberbullying-strategies-for-school-counselors
Featured image: Center for Aging Better (Unsplash)
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